I feel like I am running out of time to get as good as I can. My body creaks with stiffness as I crawl out of bed in the cold November mornings - and after getting the sandwiches made, cats fed and litter tray cleaned, spellings practised, numerous naggings to get everyone out of the door with clean teeth and straight ties - I finally drive to the yard, where a furry head and a flurry of nostrils greet me over the stable door.
I'm not really too sure what drives this passion and why it matters so much that I ride well? Why do I have an insatiable appetite to learn more? Why am I not content with what I know and how I ride?
It feels like I don't have much time left to improve, I'm not eighteen and I don't bounce when I fall off. I've created bad habits in the thirty years I've been riding and they are really hard to break, I'm not flexible and sometimes I'm a little bit scared.
But I try and try again and if someone video's me riding, it may look like I am not trying at all. But I am, with all my heart, all my passion, all my longing just to get those 2 seconds again when I feel in perfect unison with the horse. I would like to learn how to do that more.
I can learn to crochet when I'm ninety.
A lesson this week that had me yearning for more - my 2 seconds of harmony