Picture this. Every single school-day morning the kids are up at 6.30am bugging him in the bathroom and playing Jessie J on repeat. I get up later, after sifting through Twitter, maybe a peruse through Facebook, definitely checking my emails and maybe even answering a few. We might have a dance around the lounge, shake our bums to an African rhythm or act all bad-ass to some rap. The children get dressed independently, I give them breakfast, make a strong coffee, contemplate the day and then suddenly it's eight bloody fifteen.
"Eat your breakfast, P for goodness sake how many times, put your food in your mouth and CHEW!"
"Hurry up, stop fiddling A, concentrate, go and clean your teeth. NOW!"
"We're late, oh my giddy god, we're late again, HURRY UP, for goodness sake P, get your coat on, please hurry up c'mon, c'mon, c'mon..."
My poor children, every single day they have nice fun Mummy who then turns into a tyrant, shouting like a banshee, flying though the house like a whirling dervish and muttering profanities probably just a little bit too loud.
"Why don't you just get up 5 minutes earlier?" said A to me the other day, bursting into song.
You see, we used to see the same man, every day, when we dropped him off at the station early in the morning, running really fast for the train. We called him 'running man' and we squealed with delight watching him frantically paying for his parking, struggling to putting on his suit jacket, locking his car and pegging it to the platform. So we made a song up about him, and sang it very loudly when we saw him. I'm sure he heard us sometimes. It goes like this and must be sung to the tune of Phoebe from Friends singing 'Smelly Cat':
Running man! Running man!
You're late again
Running man! Running man!
You're gonna miss your train
Just get up five minutes earlier
Then you wont miss your train
Running man! Running man!
You're late again
Every day he could have saved himself this stress and just got up 5 minutes earlier. Maybe I should do the same.
Yeah but you don't get that sense of urgency until you are running late. How else can we be on time? I'm constantly saying 'c'mon we're late', then one day during some random converasation I descovered they had no idea what 'late' actually meant or early for that matter. Doh.
ReplyDeleteHilarious!
ReplyDeleteBlimey, my typing errors are appalling - sorry to mar your beautifully written blog with my ineptitude!
ReplyDeleteDo you know I had to read your comment a couple of times to find the typo! It's just nice to hear from you, what's a spelling mistake between bloggers?
ReplyDeleteFab post - so glad it's not just me!
ReplyDeleteI know, 5 minutes won't make a jot of difference - I would only answer a few more emails...
ReplyDelete