"Take that out of your mouth P please, " I ask my youngest absent mindedly as we finish up bath time.
Its a plastic fish.
" I can't, I'm smoking a cigarette!" she replies and inhales dramatically from the fishes bottom.
OK, how do I handle this? I have been no stranger to the Malboro Light in my life.
"Erm, how do you know about smoking?" I enquire
"I see the men at the station do it" she replies. Phewf.
"Well its a dirty, filthy habit and will make you ill, " I say and try and change the subject.
"Yes I want to be like Mummy when I grow up, she's soooo beautiful and trendy!" says A sucking up, hoping for more points.
Ah that's better, I think.
"I'm in love with Max in year 1" said A, 2 seconds later
"Really darling", I say, "that's nice"
"Because he told me to, I have to marry him" she replied
Oh dear God, I really didn't have the will to bang on about feminism and women's rights at 7.45pm
"OK girls, which bedtime story is it today then....."