WARNING: This blog post contains disgusting, foul language which is entirely justified in it's use.
My washing machine is broken, my heart sank not because of the piles of washing and the money needed to repair it, but because I needed to call THAT guy. We have few repair people close by and he comes recommended around these parts. But he is a sexist pig and is a letch. Urgh.
I let him in the house and the banter began.
"Oh, your'e not naked then, this early in the morning!" he chippered, his blue-tooth thingy glued to his ear.
No, I'm not naked you prick, I thought.
"Tea?" I grinned and through clenched teeth.
Some other inane, plastic comment probably followed as he made his way into the utility. I left him to it. Dickhead.
The kids fascinated by strangers (need to batter that one out of them - fast) went down to have a chat. I quickly followed.
"You know what girls, I can fix these machines but if my life depended on it, all the clothes would come out Barbie size!" he started babbling.
"Pardon? What do you mean?" knowing full well what he bloody-well meant.
"Well, you girls just know how to do the washing, dontcha eh? Never shrink the clothes, but me I'm useless!"
"Mate," I said "If my life depended on it I would be able to fix this bloody washing machine, and my girls may not be doing the washing when they are adults, maybe their partner will, it's all about equality," I answered, my heart racing wanting to poke his eyes out with a shitty stick.
"Ahh, you women, just like machines......"
"NO, don't even go there with the punch line, we are not interested...!" I was getting fucking irate now.
So he gave the punch line anyway, saying some bullshit about how unpredictable and complicated we women are and how men are black and white and if men made cakes they would chuck it all in and we add the finesse. I kid you not. Just like that. A whole sentence of nonsense and without commas.
And it didn't stop there. He went on and on and on. And when he left, I put a load of washing on and the problem wasn't fixed. He has to come back tomorrow.