Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Oy, washing machine repair man, just do yer job!

WARNING: This blog post contains disgusting, foul language which is entirely justified in it's use.

My washing machine is broken, my heart sank not because of the piles of washing and the money needed to repair it, but because I needed to call THAT guy. We have few repair people close by and he comes recommended around these parts. But he is a sexist pig and is a letch. Urgh.

I let him in the house and the banter began.

"Oh, your'e not naked then, this early in the morning!" he chippered, his blue-tooth thingy glued to his ear.

No, I'm not naked you prick, I thought.

"Tea?" I grinned and through clenched teeth.

Some other inane, plastic comment probably followed as he made his way into the utility. I left him to it. Dickhead.

The kids fascinated by strangers (need to batter that one out of them - fast) went down to have a chat. I quickly followed.

"You know what girls, I can fix these machines but if my life depended on it, all the clothes would come out Barbie size!" he started babbling.

"Pardon? What do you mean?" knowing full well what he bloody-well meant.

"Well, you girls just know how to do the washing, dontcha eh? Never shrink the clothes, but me I'm useless!"

"Mate," I said "If my life depended on it I would be able to fix this bloody washing machine, and my girls may not be doing the washing when they are adults, maybe their partner will, it's all about equality," I answered, my heart racing wanting to poke his eyes out with a shitty stick.

"Ahh, you women, just like machines......"

"NO, don't even go there with the punch line, we are not interested...!" I was getting fucking irate now.

So he gave the punch line anyway, saying some bullshit about how unpredictable and complicated we women are and how men are black and white and if men made cakes they would chuck it all in and we add the finesse. I kid you not. Just like that. A whole sentence of nonsense and without commas.

And it didn't stop there. He went on and on and on. And when he left, I put a load of washing on and the problem wasn't fixed. He has to come back tomorrow.


  1. Haha, sorry to laugh but it is funny. It could be worse, some poor woman is probably married to him!

    I had a similar 'encounter' when our tumble dryer was delivered. I overheard the two of them questioning whether my 'partner' was male, and how they were suspicious of a stay at home dad.

    There followed a couple of jokes about how it worked, and should they leave some notes for my other half. I managed to bite my tongue and totally unlike me refrained from my usual sarcasm.

    They left a small screwdriver set. When they came back for it the following day I told them that not being very practical I hadn't really known what it was so had thrown it away.

    They cursed, swore, and then threatened to send me an invoice. I told them to send it for the attention of my partner Karl.

    It's a lovely screwdriver set, I'd be lost without it!

    P.S. At what point does a piece of clothing cross over from being a dark to a light? ... Actually, don't answer that, I sound like your plumber!

  2. So he came back today and told me he was going to use PC language. Blimey, I must have had an effect. Still hasnt fixed the darn washing machine, not his fault to be fair, looks like I need a new one :-(

    A just said to me as I was cuddling my cat as a baby:

    "You know that washing machine man?"
    "Yeeeeeaas" I replied cautiously
    "He said you should have another baby and it should be a boy!"

    Really. Cheers for that. I am grinning while I write this but c'mmon. Just fix the bloody washing machine...mate.

  3. Well done for having an impact on him. He almost sounds like a cartoon character, I try to believe people like that don't still exist but clearly they are out there! Good luck with the washing machine. One of the least good things to have to spend money on, that and having work done to the roof, you can't even see the evidence of money spent on that!

  4. Yes, a cartoon character is exactly the right description! Hope you had a wonderful camping summer, looks amazing on your blog. Back to school next week...boooooooo

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